We did it! Bad Mums’ Club Launch Night

And breathe!..

Something I’ve not been doing for the past few months thinking about setting up Bad Mums’ Club. Can I do it? Am I mad? Will people really want to come? After all, this was an idea born out of a night in with a bottle of wine to myself ‘a la Bridget Jones’…should it have been buried with the hangover that followed?


This year I made a pact to myself – it’s time to get scared again. You may have heard countless life coaches and ‘gurus’ spouting about ‘do one thing a week that scares you’, well I picked the mother of all scary tasks and now I’m glad I did.

On March 23rd 2017 over 50 women turned out for the launch of Bad Mums’ Club, none of them really knowing what to expect. I admit I was overwhelmed and moved at the turnout (in my head I expected about 10 people to show and that would have been made up of my relatives and close friends) but these were REAL people, most of which didn’t know me from Adam. To see them all together made me think – this really IS what Mums want – a place where you can go and be bloody honest for once, have a bit of fun and enjoy being YOU again.

And so the night began…

Mums who arrived on their own felt their nerves ease as they enjoyed the complimentary glass of prosecco, those who arrived with friends in tow chatted eagerly, all were excited to find out what lay ahead.

I’ll admit I have never been as nervous as I was making my welcome speech to all the ladies. For me this is really personal. I can’t tell you how passionate I am about Bad Mums’ Club and when you feel so strongly about something you really want other people to feel it too. Standing up there and telling a room full of wonderful women why I wanted to do this was daunting, but they smiled, hell they even laughed along with me.

That’s when I knew I had done the right thing.

What followed was far better than my words – BBC Radio 5 live’s Sam Walker, our first ever guest speaker, was fantastic (although I knew she would be). Sam is a mum of two who juggles her career with being ‘mummy’. She overwhelmed me last year when she decided to live her dream, took a break from work and went off with her family to live in New York and Australia for a number of months so they could have the experience of a lifetime. That takes balls and it’s something I think as mums we often think we can’t do anymore – yet here she was doing it. Inspiring, funny and not sugar coating the hard times either…Sam was bloody brilliant!

More prosecco flowed, and why not, we are supposed to be ‘Bad Mums’ after all ; )

Then it was time for the ladies to mingle. They had all been given a coloured sticker when they arrived and now they had to get into groups depending on which colour they were. Some got to try out cocktail flaring first, others reflexology, face mapping and some ate cake – yes really! Local businesses had come along to give the mums a treat and unite the community – something I was keen for Bad Mums’ Club to do. After two hours of ‘me’ time it was hard to get anyone to leave. I was inundated with ‘when is the next one?’, ‘can we have a go at this next time?’ and above all it was just heartwarming to stand and watch women who didn’t know each other at the start of the night, forming new friendships.

So thank you ladies, this couldn’t continue without you. This is for you. This is for me. This is for everyone who has ever had a moment where they feel like they are not good enough. Raise your glass…to Bad Mums’ Club. We are launched and we are proud!



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Awards, car woes & Yoda!

It’s been about a year since I was inspired to set up Bad Mums’ Club after watching the movie Bad Moms and having an epiphany followed by a full bottle of wine! 12 months on, the Club has come to life, our last event sold out (and had a waiting list of Mums eager to attend) and now, lo and behold we are up for an award. It feels like I am Mum of three as this group has been my baby and I’m proud of what it has become. I’m not going to say it’s been easy, like any new addition it had its’ teething problems.

Firstly, trying to convince people who saw the name Bad Mums’ Club and thought I was leading women into a life of debauchery and not setting the right example. I even had one man send a Facebook post to our page saying I needed to ‘repent’…I didn’t, I just hit the block button!

We’ve since passed the ‘toddler’ stage where we were finding our feet and our voices and now we are enjoying our ‘primary school’ days, making new friends, developing, and growing all the time.

I’d love to take the credit for it all but it’s definitely our ‘Bad Mums’ who need that. Watching local Mums come together at Alkrington Community Centre for a well-deserved night off is a joy to see. Our Bad Mums’ Club is a place where it’s ok to off load your Mum guilt, take off your Wonder Woman knickers, drink prosecco, learn something new, meet local businesses, have fun and feel ‘normal’ again…even if it’s just for 2 hours!

Getting to the finals of the Aviva Community Fund Award has been amazing and to think our Alkrington Club has got some recognition is bloody brilliant. We need as many votes as possible to be in with a chance of winning and, if we do, the funding will help to buy our own PA system and invest on putting on workshops and demos that Mums want to try. We can only get to the next level with your support so please go to the link below and register your vote if you have a few minutes to spare (you can give us up to 10 votes…just saying).

Right, plea over – I sound as desperate as I am when I’m trying to persuade my 3 year old to take his wellibobs off at bedtime!

In other news, when do you have to stop claiming baby brain?

I’m clinging on to it this week after committing the cardinal sin of putting unleaded petrol in my diesel car (*hangs head in shame*). I chastised myself inwardly, lost a good chunk of money trying to rectify the situation and admit I was on the verge of tears. As ever though, I could rely on my kids to cheer me up. Looking into my little girl’s eyes I thought there’s more to life than money, it’s family that matters…that was until she piped up, ‘You won’t do that again will you Mummy. You’ve learnt your lesson!’

When did the mother-daughter role reversal happen? And whilst my 7 year old might be as wise as Yoda I’m thinking that Santa will probably start crossing things off that Christmas list she has wrote ; )

Till next time,

The Big Bad Mumma xx

Follow us on Facebook @BadMumsClubUK

Let’s get down to the Nitty Gritty

October has arrived – the month we celebrate Halloween by scaring the living daylights out of each other…cos it’s fun! Well, I guess it’s a good time to admit my worst phobia…the fear that has me waking up in a cold sweat.


Yes, they start out as harmless little dots of eggs on your kids’ hair and become nasty creepy crawlies that just WON’T go AWAY! It’s happened to you hasn’t it? That dreaded moment when your child starts itching their head before bedtime and you freeze in the ‘scream’ pose realising you are going to have to go through the lengthy process of trying to destroy them. It’s basically a case of you or the critters. Inside I mentally put on a white vest (Bruce Willis style) grab the Nitty Gritty comb and shout “Yippie Ki-Yay Mother Lousers!”

But, here’s the fun bit, when you have more than one child the gift just keeps on giving – it’s like a constant game of pass the parcel. One minute you are sat there looking at your kids cuddling each other on the sofa, heads resting side by side, thinking ‘aww how sweet they look’ and the next you are dragging them apart like a mad woman realising there’s a happy louse leaping from one child to the next like an unwanted lodger!

Then there’s the added shame of getting ‘the letter’ from school in your child’s bag – How to get rid of Head Lice. Do they really think that sending you an A5 pamphlet will help? YES school I KNOW my child has nits and YES I’m bloody trying my best to get rid of them. If they want to do something useful then bring back the Nit Nurse, she’d take no prisoners or kids ‘head sore’ protests.

Oh, and then there’s the people who give you advice – who think they are helping but they’re not…

Don’t worry they only like kids who have clean hair.”  – Thanks, I kinda wish I hadn’t washed my kid’s hair since last Christmas now…

Have you tried that lotion from the advert?  – Yes I saw it, I bought it, I’m now £15 down and it didn’t work.

In case you are wondering, here’s what we tried:

  • Nit comb – 3 different types
  • Conditioner and nit comb
  • Every goddam nit solution you can think of (and they don’t come cheap!)
  • Tea tree oil in a spray
  • Oh, and there was a suggestion of frying the blighters with hair straighteners which I wanted to try but did feel a little queasy getting that image out of my head

And then the day finally dawns when you win…your child is ‘NIT-FREE’. You can once again walk the school grounds with your head held high and your childs’ hair not scraped back in a bun. You are victorious! You go to work with a spring in your step, pour a coffee (you can drink without it going cold), and then…it happens…you feel an itch…and another…and another…

Nits The SequelThey’re back and this time they want their revenge!


PS. Mums, don’t have nightmares ; )

Can someone let me in PLEASE!

I remember teaching my Nanna how to use the VHS recorder when I was about 9 years old. Remember video recorders? I used to think ours was really cool as you pressed the eject button and the video came up out of the top like a spaceship (I was a very imaginative only child).

Fast forward to now and my days thinking I was super clever blur in comparison to what kids can do at just 5 or 6. I caught my 7 year old daughter in the garden last week looking like she was talking to herself only to discover when I asked her that she was ‘vlogging Mummy’ and could I say something into her iPad that would be entertaining so she could get ‘followers’. I don’t know what happened first, my mouth gapping wide open or me taking the iPad off her to check she wasn’t actually posting these for real to the whole of cyberspace. Thankfully she was just playing make-believe but where have the days gone when that meant dressing up in a costume or pretending you were a princess or superhero?

And then there’s our 2 year old son, who has discovered how to close the front door and lock it. How did I discover that, you ask? Well as Tuesdays are bin day where I live I was doing the routine of taking the rubbish bags out, with my little boy looking on as I went in and out of the door. Last bag dumped I turn to head back in and the door is shut. Not just shut…locked!

He’s locked the door…how’s he locked the door? He’s 2? I’m in my bright pink dressing gown. I have no make-up on. The key is on the other side of the door. And there’s not one window open. Argh!!

I push open the letter box.

Me: Let Mummy in the house? I can’t get in Darling.

He looks vacant, like I’m not there. He can sure as hell see me, I’m wearing bright pink!

Me: (Little louder) Come on sweetheart, I need to get in. Can you turn the key?…no don’t walk upstairs…come back. COME BACK! No, no I didn’t mean to shout, don’t wee on the floor (we are potty training right now). Just come towards Mummy.

He slowly walks to the door head hanging down.

Me: Now put your hand up to the key…

Son: I can’t reach it Mummy.

Me: (Through gritted teeth) Yes you can (you bloody locked me out in the first place). How about you turn the key the other way and when I get in you get a Haribo?

He looks up, stands on tip-toes and slowly turns the key in the door.

Bribery…it never fails, but who would have thought Haribo could open doors!

So here’s to all the clever kids who keep us on our toes on a daily basis. Stressed? Me? Never! That’s why our next Bad Mums’ Club meeting combines wellbeing and a bit of ‘you’ time now the kids are back to school (cheers all round)! Hope to see you there…if I can just figure out how to get out of this damn shed…

Kids Club or Club Tropicana?

I imagine you might be reading this as you get ready for the forthcoming school holidays. Seeing as we took our break in May I’m pretty much green with envy at the moment of anyone who mentions the ‘H’ word. But let’s reflect on just what holidays morph into when two become, three, four or even five!! I still shudder at the memory of carrying my little girl across the pool area whilst she was kicking and screaming after a sun cream application meltdown. Taking a ‘terrible two’ year old to Spain in the height of Summer was probably not the best decision we made but as I did the walk of shame past all the other parents their ‘been there done that’ glances helped me realise I wasn’t alone.

Do you remember the old days when holidays were more Club Tropicana than Kids Club?

Holidays BC (Before Children)

1/ You got to read at least two books whilst reclining poolside on a sun-lounger

2/ Afternoon siestas were the norm and possibly a few cheeky love ins

3/ You dined at stylish restaurants watching the sun go down

4/ There was dancing till dawn, sometimes on tables

5/ Drinking started as soon as you got on the flight or even before boarding

6/ You took just two suitcases, packed with new outfits you were both ready to show off


Now it’s a totally different ball game…


Holidays AC (After Children)

1/ You take it in turns to snatch a few minutes sunbathing whilst the other one amuses the kids

2/ The kids’ clothes double what you’ve packed for yourselves and have labels from NEXT not Primark

3/ Restaurants are decided by whether or not they serve chicken nuggets and chips

4/ The words ‘can I have’ become the kids’ holiday mantra, yours becomes ‘No’

5/ The only shapes you throw on the dancefloor are to ‘Cha Cha slide’ or ‘Chu Chu Wa’

6/ You spend an insane amount of money on a giant inflatable for the pool only for your kids to play on it once and then lose interest

So, bon voyage and to any Mum who comes back with a tan and has not had at least one mental breakdown…I salute you!




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