They say a picture tells a thousand words but in the era of filters and photo-shopping the only thing they are saying now is a ‘fake perfect’. When have you ever put a photo on social media that you weren’t happy with? It’s not what we do is it. And god forbid anyone who tags you in to a shot that you haven’t approved.
Yes, admit it, we are all guilty, but it seems we get even worse once we’ve had children.
You post a snap of ‘little Tommy’ smiling sweetly hugging his dinosaur, when just minutes before he’d had a meltdown because you’d left it at the Toby Carvery and he had screamed blue murder in the car till you drove back.
Upload ‘our Katie’ in her bridesmaid dress but don’t reveal on the comments it took bribing her with the promise of having time on the iPad straight after the wedding just to get her to let you take it.
The reason I bring this up is that one of my good friends went on holiday to Dubai with her husband and two-year-old daughter and, as is the norm nowadays, posted regular pics from her break away onto Facebook. It went a little something like this…
The three of them on the beach looking sunkissed…check!
Her and her daughter adorably holding hands by the pool…check!
All of them in matching outfits with the sun setting behind the Burj…check!
Now, I’m viewing all these in my PJs, make up off, hair scraped back whilst on the sofa having a well needed glass of wine (after the kids have wound me to within an inch of breaking point). I remember whining to my husband ‘We could never manage to take the kids somewhere like that without it ending up being hell on earth. Why can’t we be that perfect?’
The week after my friend returns home and we meet up for a brew and a catch up.
‘How was your holiday? It looked amazing. I’ve got to admit I was so jealous’, I confessed.
‘Oh god, it was awful, I couldn’t wait to get back! Me and him had a row on the second day and hardly spoke after that and my little girl had a tantrum by the poolside which was so bad everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at us.’
I felt a mix of smugness, then empathy and then a bit angry…not at her but at me for believing that what we see on social is always true. Deep down we are the same, dealing with similar issues and all just trying to survive with our sanity intact. Sometimes we just want people to believe that we are perfect just as much as we wanted Prince Charming to exist when we were single.
Remember what you see isn’t always reality and ‘parenting perfection’ is as big a fairy-tale as Cinderella.
That’s one of the reasons I set up Bad Mums’ Club so there was a place where Mums could go along, be themselves for a night and realise that in person we are all the same, whether we holiday in Dubai or Devon…bake cakes or buy them.
Our next event night is Thursday 27th June at Alkrington Community Centre when the theme will be Summer and we will have lots in store to spread some sunshine into your lives. Come along if you can…tickets available via our Facebook events page.
Right, I’m off to see how many likes this latest post has got ; )