Lights, donuts and £10 slime!

Did anybody get to see the Blackpool Illuminations this year?

Every 12 months it sounds like a good idea to pack into the car and go and see the multi-coloured flashing lights adorning the seaside  town and every year we come back saying ‘NEVER AGAIN’!

Well, glutton for punishment, me and the hubby took the kids a few weeks ago and it seemed like EVERYONE in the world had had the same idea as us.

As you might imagine the traffic was bumper to bumper and the fun of ‘the first one to spot Blackpool Tower’ started to fade as it became apparent we’d have spotted the Eiffel Tower in less time that it took to get to the Golden Mile. When we finally arrived the kids were so high on Haribos they wouldn’t have known whether we were in Blackpool or the back garden.

You would have thought the trauma was over when we got there but then we had to park. Cue stress levels exceeding boiling point and my ‘hangry’ other half (who was dying for chips, peas and gravy by the prom) was being quite free with his tongue at the prospect we were driving around in circles. Then, from the back of the car, my 4-year-old son shouts out of the window ‘where’s the friggin’ space’! I officially wanted to die right there and then as it was so loud the crowds passing by all stopped with that awful judgmental look on their faces that says ‘I wonder where’s he got that from’? Needless to say, the hubby got the death stare from me and the windows went firmly back up.

It’s not just a trip to the lights though is it?

When you come to Blackpool you can’t get away without a visit to the arcade. Do you remember when it was all about the ‘two p’ machines and getting a few coins back like on Tipping Point? Well not anymore, it’s all about the ones that pump out the tokens…where you spend about a tenner trying to collect 500 little paper tickets that you then exchange for 2 lollies and a pot of slime. Money well spent eh!

When we finally got to the main event…the lights, my little boy was fast asleep and my little girl transfixed to the £10 slime and nothing else. So, like the sensible parents that we are, we fought over who had the last hot donut and in doing so we missed the goddamn tram we’d waited an hour for that’s shaped like a boat and has enough wattage to power up Manchester.

Blackpool Illuminations, don’t you just love them?

You know though, just like childbirth, we will all forget how much pain it puts us through and be tempted to do it all over again next year.

See you at Central Pier!


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