Like most parents with school age kids I’m gearing myself up for that time of the year when they come home with a ‘project’ to do. Yes, that moment when they present you with a mammoth list of things they need to build/create that usually require you to do more work than them. And then there’s the competitive element you get dragged into…
“Little Johnnie in class 3B is doing a project on astronauts and he’s going to NASA space station in America with his parents so he can do some research.”
“Libby from class 4A is doing a presentation on the Ancient Egyptians. She is dressing up as Cleopatra complete with an Asp that her Mum and Dad have loaned from the local pet shop.”
Now, whilst I might be exaggerating here, there is a lot of truth in the extent to which some parents go to to make sure their ‘mini me’s’ are top of the class.
Like the time I experienced ‘House-gate’ when my little girl was about 5 years old. She came home with a task from the teacher that said she had to ‘describe your favourite room in your house and why. You can use pictures or be as creative as you wish.’
Well, of course, in my head the words ‘if you wish’ meant just one thing – you didn’t have to go overboard if you didn’t want to. So, I actually felt proud of myself on ‘hand in’ day when my daughter had completed not just written words but an accompanying picture of her bedroom (coloured in no less)! That was until I reached the playground…
As if in slow motion one of the kids from my daughters’ class walked past me with her parents in tow, all 3 of them were holding up what can only be described as a mini house. Other parents’ eyes also followed them. We were all in awe, disbelief and pretty much mouthing the words ‘WTF?”
Yes, there’s always the one that goes that EXTRA mile and this particular family had created not just their kids favourite room but their HOUSE. Plus I later found out, (after quizzing my child at dinner), that their model also had carpet in it – the SAME carpet from their actual living room. How the hell do you compete with that??
Since then though I’ve upped my game and like to use the ‘ageing a piece of paper to look like old parchment trick’.
Step 1: spill black coffee over a piece of paper
Step 2: dry out naturally
Step 3: crumple it up
Voila! – just call me a Blue Peter presenter!
I want to just leave you with one final thought for now…does anyone else think the Tooth Fairy has hiked up her pay outs?
According to my daughter the plucky pixie left a £5 note under the pillow of one of her toothless friends recently and now she thinks that is the going rate! Unfortunately ‘Tink’, as we like to call her, was strapped for cash when she visited our house so left just £3 (made up of lots of loose change). Although she did leave our daughter a lovely coffee stained, crumpled note to make up for it…
Till next time,
The Big Bad Mumma