There’s two words in life that I dread. School Fair. Yes, it REALLY is that time of year once again when we get the newsletters (oh and the texts) from our kids’ school to let us know the unmissable event is soon upon us. I say unmissable because they don’t let you forget it for one minute in the build-up. Now don’t get me wrong I’m fully supportive of my kids’ school and other locals schools for that matter – I’ve even been known to buy a knitted toy or two from them that has never seen the light of day just to help raise their funds.
I guess my unease with the whole thing might have something to do with my initiation into the world of the School Fair back when my daughter was in Reception. At the time said daughter had come home with a slip of paper saying ‘could parents please bring some bottles into school tomorrow for the fair’.
Ok, no problem.
So, next day, I bound through the school gates armed with a plastic bag full of bottles and a smile on my face. They are going to LOVE me, I’ve got LOADS of them!
I walk up to the teaching assistant manning the door and collecting all the bundles from the Mums and Dads dropping their kids off.
Me: Here you go, hope they help.
I pass over the bag.
TA: Erm…I think you may have got confused here…these are bottles.
Me: Yes, that’s what you asked for.
The teaching assistant looked like she was suppressing a laugh…maybe she had wind?
TA: We wanted full bottles, not empty ones, so we can sell them on our bottle stall.
I looked down in horror, realising my school girl error, I had brought them a bag full of empty wine bottles. My face turned from white to pink.
Me: Ah, right (nervous giggle) of course, I’ll bring some at home-time.
I practically ran out of the playground and jumped into the nearest hole. I would now be forever known not only as the dim-witted Mother but the Mum who has a drinking problem!
So good luck out there on your bottle/chocolate/cake collection days and remember we’ve all been there too.